If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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