who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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