if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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