His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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