He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
The struggles of a small town man whore
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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