I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
