I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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