So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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