Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
