The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Small penises have feelings too.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
