So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
