I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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