Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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