Pappa wants mamma naked
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
