On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
