Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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