Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize