so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
