Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Randomize
