so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
