i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
