I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
