I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
as a side note pls kill me
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
