I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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