im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Randomize
