so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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