Having a random hookup so left but love u
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
