So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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