batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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