Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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