Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
