Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
