I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
