I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
