I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
