yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Randomize
