Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Come on in and take your pants off
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
