They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
