I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize