I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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