Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
