Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
