Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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