Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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