Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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