i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
