even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
