I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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