**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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