I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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