That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
