P.S. I can't hear my feet
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
