I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
